The White Stripes - You've Got Her in Your Pocket

For all of those who have no idea what I'm talking about, this is a show on VH1 starring Mystery, who many consider among the best in the world at interacting with women. Link

Before I get to other reactions to the show, I'm going to give my take. As just a reality show, I think it's done well enough. It's produced by JD Roth (lol) who also produces "Beauty and the Geek", so it follows much of the same cues as far as scenes, camera work, obviously scripted events, etc. The casting is really the part that shines as 7 out of the 8 guys seem like great guys who just never got the social aspects of their lives in order. The one that seems like a bad casting call is Pradeep, based on his comment about having kids with a jewish girl so that their kids would look like white people with year round tans. That definitely put me off, but maybe he can redeem himself. So far it's fun to watch and I'm looking forward to seeing transformations in these guys.

Now for the interesting part, the responses to the show. Just wow. On one side you have women who have either been burned by men or have had next to no luck finding the right man. On the other side are guys who are so convinced by Hollywood that women love it when you out of the blue confess your love for them, that they're finding any reason in the world to not get past their egos and see what Mystery has to say (the interesting part is he hasn't even taught anything yet on the show).

For women, you have to realize that many of us guys were never naturally good with women or social situations in general. For better or worse, it is up to us to be the leaders in interactions and society. So then it is a daunting task for a guy who has no confidence or no idea of what to do to approach several or even one woman, and attempt to create a connection. It's made doubly hard by the fact that most women have been hit on so many times in their lives that they know the routine and even how to indirectly reject a guy before she gets to know the "nice guy" she claims she wants. The information that Mystery and other guys distribute allows guys to talk with many women, make decisions on who they date based on how well they connect with that person and not out of desperation, and finally to lead more fulfilling lives as men. Feeling successful at our jobs, in our lives, and with women are the three things that all men strive to achieve.

For guys, stop kidding yourselves. How many of you can honestly say that if you had a choice of any girl you wanted in the whole world, that you wouldn't do what it takes to find the one who is right for you? Can you meet women through your friends and have decent relationships? Sure, it's possible, but your selection is so limited that the chance of you finding the person who is right for you is pretty small. It's no wonder divorce rates in this country are so ridiculously high. Now your pride is going to get in your way, there's no doubt about that. I've even considered not making this post, simply because it'll out the fact that I had to seek help with women from people who I've heard called every name in the book (not Mystery specifically). The idea of saying, "hey, I don't know how to talk to women" cuts at the core and can be humiliating. But what would you rather have? Wounded pride and the ability to have all aspects of your life in order, or to continue fronting and know that the girl you're with (or maybe you've never even been with a girl) isn't the right one for you. Take a long hard look at yourself and be honest with yourself.

I'm not here to say that every guy has the best of intentions when they seek out women, but I am saying that most of us know what we want. Gaining the tools to get that isn't deplorable, it's admirable. I admire people who are willing to admit they are not getting what they want out of life, and then seek out people who can help change that. Everyone should.